Download Full Games

News
  Home
  Archive / Search
  Submit

Community
  Forums
  Get Hosted!

Files
  Action Files

Game Profiles
  Game Info
  Cheats

About Us
  Contact Us
  Advertise
Articles
11/1/2002
The Final Word

10/30/2002
Generations Arena Preview

10/27/2002
This Week In Action

10/25/2002
Top Ten Real Life Mods

10/22/2002
Top 10 Unique FPS Weapons

10/19/2002
This Week in Action

10/18/2002
The Past, Present And Future Of AI

How To Start A Clan Of Online Wankers (In 10 Easy Steps!)
- Thrrrpptt!

Step 3: The Clan Tag

You're a tightly knit clan of amazingly skilled wankers. You've got to let the world know. More importantly, you've got to let the world know that other people are not in your clan. The vehicle for important message this is the clan tag. You've probably seen it: the set of characters flanked by brackets at the beginning or end of a player's name. One might think that the clan tag should simply be an acronym for the clan name, but that sort of logic is shortsighted. You've got to spruce up your clan tag so that it stands out from the crowd. You may or may not use the letters in your clan name, but you should definitely throw in extra characters, symbols, ASCII art, and random punctuation. It also helps to capitalize every other letter.

Thus, the clan tag for Clan Doomsday Riders would be: {[!ArK=-=%!]}.

Makes sense, right?

An alternative method for coming up with a clan tag is to simply pick up your cat (you can borrow one if you don't have one), set it down on the keyboard, then suddenly pop a balloon behind its back. Thus, Clan Spasmatic Monkey Humpers becomes ][oq249781kjas~. Put brackets around that sucker and you've got a classic. 

Step 4: Recruiting Clan Members

Now that you've got your clan name and tag down, you need to go out and get other people to join your clan. Otherwise you're just some guy with a dumb name, and we can't have that can we? There are a couple of ways you can go about doing this.

Recruiting From Games. If you're on a game server and totally getting your ass kicked by some guy, then he's obviously cheating. That sort of ingenuity could make a handsome addition to your clan roster. Ask him to join up. Anybody that's spent time honing their skills and enjoying the game is obviously small minded and will probably not want to limit himself to playing with a small set of people he has never met, just on your word that "it will kick ass". If he says "No", then try to change his mind by calling him a pussy and fill the screen with obscenities until he logs off the server. Then add him to the roster anyway, so that you can tell other potential recruits that you're constantly growing

Recruiting from Established Web Pages. Big time web pages just love to help fledgling clans out. One of the first things you should do when forming a clan should be to fire off an email to big sites like Blue's News and PlanetQuake asking them to prominently display a message from you asking for new members. Here's a sample email that you can edit to fit your own needs:

BLUE, YOU GUYS ROCK!!! I AM STARTING A KICK ASS QUAKE CLAN CALLED THE CLAN DOOMSDAY RIDERS. SO FAR IT IS JUST ME AND MY FRIEND SAM BUT WE ARE GOING TO BE HEDGE!!!!! MY FRIEND SAM AND I THOUGHT IT WOULD KICK MOST ASS BUT WE ARE THE ONLY MEMBERS PLEASE POST A MASSAGE ON YOUR WEB PAGE TELLING PEOPLE THEY CAN JOIN UP NOW BY EMAILING ME AT LEETDOOD@HOTMAIL.COM. BUT HURRY!!!!!!!!!!!! WE WILL ONLY TAKE A FEW MORE PEOPLE INTO OUR KICKASS CLAN AND CLOSE DOORS FOREVER!!!!!!! UNTIL WE NEED MORE PEOPLE!!!!! PLEAS POST NOW!!!!!!!!!!! (AT TOP OF PAGE, DON'T PUT IT IN SUCKY PART LIKE "OUT OF THE BLUE") WE WILL KILL YOU ALLL!! ROCK!!!

PS I MITE LET YOU JOIN IF YOU KICK ASS ENOUGH AND PUT UP THIS MESSAGE. EMAIL ME SO YOU CAN TRY OUT!!!!!

As you can see, nobody could argue with that persuasive a message. The spelling, the punctuation, the subtle threats, they all weave together to form an a compelling tapestry of rhetoric that is sure to get your hotmail account flooded with wankers clamoring to have a shot at your elite group.

Game Sites
  Allegiance
  Alice
  Aliens vs. Predator
  America's Army
  Armored Core
  Battlefield 1942
  Billy Hatcher
  Blood
  Breed
  Bridge Commander
  Call of Cthulhu
  Call of Duty
  Chrome
  CnC: Renegade
  Counter-Strike
  Crysis
  Daikatana
  Dark Sector
  DarkSpace
  Descent
  Deus Ex
  DOOM
  Drakan
  Duke
  Elite Force
  Far Cry
  F.E.A.R.
  Freelancer
  Frontlines
  Gears of War
  Ghost Recon 2
  Giants
  Grand Theft Auto
  Gunman Chronicles
  Halo
  Half-Life
  Heretic
  Hidden & Dangerous
  Hitman 47
  Jedi Knight 2
  Killer 7
  Killzone
  Kingpin
  Klingon Academy
  Loose Cannon
  Mafia
  Mario Kart
  Mechwarrior 4
  Medal of Honor
  Men of Valor
  Midnight Club
  Oni
  Operation Flashpoint
  Planetside
  Prince of Persia
  Project Nomad
  Quake
  Rainbow 6
  Red Faction
  Savage
  Shadow Warrior
  Shogo
  Slave Zero
  Star Trek Games
  Soldier of Fortune
  Splinter Cell
  Starcraft: Ghost
  Starlancer
  Team Fortress
  Thief
  Transformers
  Trespasser
  TRIBES
  Undying
  Unreal
  WheelofTime
  Wolfenstein
  X-Com Alliance
  X-Men
  Zero-G Marines